Alright I know what you’re thinking: “fish are friends not food.” If that’s not what you’re thinking, maybe you were offended by the suggestive title insinuating that there’s something to be made or gained from acquaintances.
You may sternly argue, with your eyebrows furrowed, that friends should be inherently neutral in their relationship, and that they should not in any way be taken advantage of.
You’d be right.
Friends are important. So important, that they could be considered valuable. They enrich our lives in almost every way. Cohorts, partners in crime, or just what the doctor ordered when you’ve had a tough day.
Friendships can be fleeting or they can last a lifetime. They can be fleeting for a lifetime, picking up right where you left off paying no heed to the time passed between life’s chapters.
I’m not here to discuss what makes a good friend, I’m here to elaborate on a theory of valuable friends. Some friends have always been around, may it be due to influence of family, school, work, or other proximity. Other friendships can be forged stronger in just an instant, with the threads of fate tying you together in serendipity.
What makes a valuable friend, and how do you find them?
Friends, in my opinion, should benefit from each other. Not necessarily monetarily, but truly almost in any regard. You should build each other into bigger, better versions of yourselves. Friends (good ones) are anamorphic appendages of each other, always changing, improving, evolving; all the while remaining connected to each other.
You share interests, hobbies, humor, and ambitions. Or you don’t, and they’re okay with that. Acceptance and understanding are the cornerstones to forming fluid friendships that will stand the tests of time and all the adversity it will throw at you.
So how do you find these people, and what do you do when you meet them?
I identify some of my favorite kinds of people in a variety of ways. Out of these people, many step up to become highly engrained in my life, and I like to think we all have something to offer each other. It can be knowledge, experience, wisdom, business opportunities, kindness, compassion, laughter, or just their company on a lazy day.
They’re the ones having the most fun. At work, on the sports field, at a party. Killin it on the Dancefloor whether they have awesome dance moves or not, to me anyone that’s having the best time has the best moves, hands down.
They’re dressed well. No, not in a starchy suit or overly-hipster getup, but they obviously take pride in themselves and implement touches of original, personal style in their not-so-meticulously groomed appearance. As we like to say here at Devious Gentlemen, “Those who take pride in their behavior, intellect, and appearance are allowed the most liberty to have fun.”
They love what they do, they’re passionate. Doesn’t matter who they are or what they do, if they greet you with a genuine smile and a happy demeanor chances are they’re the type of people you should have around.
They appreciate a good time. They’re fun and they like having fun. If life isn’t fun then life isn’t worth living at all. And if I can’t share in a good time then it’s almost not as fun for me.
So what do you do when you run into an intriguing character, and want to see where things go?
Invite them out. Low key drinks at a bar might be a little too formal or intimate, but if you ask them to join you and some friends at a bar, lounge, party, or event, the commitment and therefore the decisions involved are far less scary and much more acceptable.
Invite yourself out. Certainly don’t be pushy, but see what they like to do and if they have any involvements. See how you can help them. Do they need some extra food or beverages for a gathering? Whip up some handy homemade delectables, or bring a few bottles of booze. Not sure if a red or white wine will suffice? Bring both. The cost of a couple bucks is a small price to pay for the potential to start a friendship that may last a lifetime.
Before you know it, you and your new besties will be group chatting away about the next get together. It can be a dinner party, an outdoor excursion, or a new and exciting travel adventure. I love my wide variety of friends because they expose me to so many new ideas and influences. I have no problem admitting, and with great pride, that I am who I am because I allow so many intriguing people into my life. I certainly would be at a loss without them.